Ashley was born a sweet 4 lb. 10 oz. shriveled up baby girl who blossomed into the most beautiful lady one could ever imagine.  
                                                 
Ashley has one biological sister, her name is  Brandy.  Brandy is four years older than Ashley.  Ashley's sister watches over her just like a mother watches over her own children.  They would fight and bicker just like all siblings do, but their realtionship is extremely special.  Their love for each other is simply beyond describing in actions or words.  They supported each other in all they did and as a third party looking in, it is one of the most beautiful experiences and memories that I, as their mother, hold dear to my heart.  Without a doubt, this is what I mourn the most for and have to ask God everyday to help me get through it.  I'm saddened that they no longer have each other to lean on, or to talk to, or to laugh with.  I also know that it is tragic for Brandy because she loves Ashley so much.  I also know Ashley misses Brandy just as much, and cannot wait until the family chain is linked together again.
                                                         
 
Ashley brought out the worst and the best in Brandy.  Ashley, shall we say, has a quick and short temper, and is somewhat head strong, and could frustrate one easily.  On the other hand, Ashley is the most loyal, protective, honest, and genuinely caring person that I have ever dealt with.  To give you an idea of her head strong self I will share a story with you.  When she was about four years old she did something (I don't remember what) so I sent her to her bedroom.  The next thing I heard was the slamming of her bedroom door.  I immediately got up to respond and as I was ready to lash out at her the Lord gave me a different answer.  I opened up the door and said, "Ashley next time won't you please slam the door as loud as you can so Everyone can hear it."  Ashley came to the door and opened it, and then acted like she was going to slam it as hard as she could, but she didn't, she closed it ever so softly.  And that my friends is an example of her head strong self.  She puts a smile on my face as I type this.

              

I honestly believe the word "loyalty" was invented and defined with Ashley specifically in mind.  She is the type of person who is loyal no matter what the circumstances are.  For example, her good friend Erin from college recieved a ticket in a work construction zone.  Ashley was in the car with Erin when this incident occurred.  If my memory serves me right (which I hope it does) the police officer said Erin did not stop as the sign posted instructed.  Ashley and Erin said, yes, we did stop.  These courageous friends decided to reconstruct what happened and took photograph pictures of the construction zone and their placement in it.  They decided to go to court and fight the ticket.  
                       
What do you think happened?  Of course they won!  They proved to the judge that there was no way the police officer could have seen if Erin stopped as instructed because of the many bushes obstructing his view from where he was.  Ashley had to get on the witness stand and told it like it was.  How brave is that, how loyal she is to Erin (as Erin is to her).  The kicker is, and I love it, the baliff told the girls the police officer has never lost a case, at least until the girls arrived.   He suggested they say something to the officer.  As they walked out of the court room the officer was sitting on a bench.  They did go and tell him they were sorry he lost, but guess what, he told them it was okay.  I think it made the girls feel better that he didn't hold a grudge.  My point is , that Ashley is loyal to all those in her life and her actions speak louder than words.    
                    

Brandy was very proud of her sister for having the courage to go to court with Erin and help her fight the ticket.  But, Brandy has been proud of her sister many other times before.  Remember earlier I told you Ashley was protective of those she loved, will now I'm going to share another experience with you.

Ashley was around five years old so that would have made Brandy nine years old.  We lived in Lompoc, California at the time.  The girls were playing outside with their friends, the Seller girls, Jessica, Shanon, Brandy, and Heather.  The six of them were always together, Ashley being the very youngest of them all by four years.  We didn't live in the best of neighborhoods so there was always something going on that parents didn't really appreciate.  This particular day is a day I will never forget as long as I live, as I'm sure Ashley's sister Brandy will never forget.  A group of boys decided to have a little fun with the girls and harass them, not just verbally but physically too.  Now keep in mind that my Brandy "was" (not so much anymore) a pacifist.  She would walk 500 miles to avoid any kind of confrontation, that all changed the day her son was born.  But anyway, one of the little boys hit Brandy but she didn't do anything about it.  Well excuse me, but you should not do that in front of her sister Ashley.  Ashley didn't give it a moments thought when she ran up to the little boy and kicked him as hard as she could in his stomach.  No, I didn't condone what she did, but you have to remember the environment we were living in.  Ashley loved her sister so much she felt she had to protect her, and since Brandy didn't defend herself, her little sister did.  That is just another reason Brandy misses Ashley so much.
                            

The final and most precious bond Ashley and Brandy have is Brandy's son Lil D.  I told you before how caring Ashley is but that is an understatement.  Ashley loves Brandy and her son so much her heart was literaly breaking!  Ashley's nephew was born three months early, the little guy only weighed 2lbs.7oz.  How is that for small?  Little D was in the hospital for almost three months before he could come home.  Yet, Ashley only visited him once in all that time.  I knew it bothered Brandy so I confronted her about Ashley's unfrequented visits.  She said, "Mom don't you know, Ashley is afraid he is going to die.  Give her time she is just scared right now.  All she could do was peak in the window, she couldn't even come in the room and hold him.  Mom, when we bring the baby home Ash will be there and everything will be fine."  Brandy was right of course, I then recalled Ashley telling me the same thing, she was afraid "Lil D was going to die."  And this is an example of how Ashley brought out the best in Brandy.  Brandy took charge of a situation when Ashley and I had lost it.  And low and behold, when the baby came home, Ashley was there every weekend she could.  She loves that boy so much!  Please take time to look at the photo album and see Ashley and her nephew, he loves her just as much as she loves him.
       
Earlier I told you that Ashley has a quick temper and is easily frustrated, in addition, she easily frustrates others as well.  I believe the phrase is, "The world revolves according to Ashley", as her step-father would say.  Fortunately, Ashley matured and the phrase no longer applies as originally intended.  She still has work to do in this area (as we all do) but talk about doing a 360.  Let me describe what it is like..........

It is not uncommon for me to get 6 or 7 phone calls from Ashley in one day.  She called me about everything, but also expected me to fix everything.  Most of the time that happened except for once.  Anyway, because of the cell phone technology she could call me from where ever she was.  We would be carrying on a conversation and all of a sudden she would say, "move over you dummy don't you know how to drive?" or  she would be opening her mail and shout, " What is this, the bank is charging me a $2.00 fee for what?"  It was on going and never stopped.  You say that sounds so trivial, it is, but to Ashley it wasn't, especially if it concerned money.
                

However, from the bad turns good.  Ashley's first year of college was hard because it was her first time being away from home.  Furthermore, one of her roommates decided not to attend PCC in her second year, another was not going to stay in the dorms, and yet another decided to get different roommates.  All I can say is the Lord knew what He was doing..........

Yes, we are still talking about Ashley's quick temper and frustrations.  The most amazing and precious miracle is when Ashley became friends and roommates with Erin, Lily, & Madison.  The inseparable foursome to this day!  They were born to meet, and build a relationship with each other, Because they would compliment each others flaws and or strenghts, And show the world what could be accomplished through the Love and Faith of Jesus Christ!  I told you this, to tell you the following.  Ashley and I were talking on the phone one night and she was in a rant and rave mood, all of a sudden her roommates said to her, "Ashley, isn't it time for you to go pray?"  She said, "Mom they are right I need to go pray."  How awesome is that?  Her roommates reached her when I was failing her.  I will love those girls the rest of my days.  

Ashley had a goal in life, actually she had two goals.  One was to obtain her teaching credential and reach out to the children of the world.  The other was to spread the love and the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.  She accomplished both goals!  Even though Ashley was in her 4th year at Pacific Christian College (Hope International Universtity), all who knew her, also knew, Ashley was already one of the most amazing teachers there was.  She taught everywhere she went and then taught some more.

The first year of college was a little hard for Ashley, as she hated being away from home.  To give you an idea of her heart, think of this.....Ashley would spend the night at her friends house when she was in high school, but if I or her step-father woke up in the night, you would always see Ashley in her bed.  We would think to ourselves, "she was spending the night, how is it she is now home?"  She loved her home, just as now we know how much she loves being home with Jesus.  Ashley's philosophy is simple....your home is where your heart is, and do what your heart tells you to do.

During the 2nd and 3rd year of college Ashley truly grew.  Not just in life, but in the Lord also.  She worked at a Christian School in Fullerton, Ca. and it proved very intriquing to Ashley and to us as her parents.  She began college wanting to be a highschool teacher, then a junior highschool teacher, and then BAM, when she went to work at Trinity she wanted to teach elementry school kids. 

Ashley was litteraly obsessed with the so called "problem child."  She would tell me (as her mother), "Mom, you can't believe what this little boy did, or what this little girl did, and then she would tell me what she did to overcome the problem.  Boy, do I want to brag right now, but I have to remember what my mother told me, "Don't ever brag on your kids because the first time you do, your going to eat those words.  I always kept that advice close to my heart, but it never happened with Ashley.  She always lived up to her words through her actions.  And now I have to tell you about those actions.

One story I will share with you, is that when Ashley was working at Trinity there was one little boy that was being ignored by all of the other children.  She told me she felt sorry for him and wanted to communicate somehow to the other kids how this little boy was feeling.  She wanted to devise a plan that would accomplish this without it backfiring and becoming a disaster, so this is what she did..........

If my husband and I remember correctly, this little boy had diabetes and had to be watched extra careful with specific foods, etc.  that he came into contact with.  So, he seemed to be a bit of an outcast to the other children.  Ashley noticed this little boy would sit by himself at lunch time, and began to spend some time with him.  Very creatively she invented a club.  The only way you could get into the club was if you knew the password and the hand shake.  The little boy and Ashley seemed to be having so much fun in their club all of the other children wanted to be included.  But, how could they be included unless they knew the password and handshake?  Ashley was sly, she let it slip out (not on purpose silly you, NOT). The club grew so big, nobody sat by their self at lunch after that!  She was so excited and we knew then and there what a fantastic teacher she would be.  She will be deeply missed by all.

This is only one example, I could go on and on, but I will remember my mother's words.

But, we were only talking about Trinity right, now lets talk about Sugarpine Christian Camp.  What a place, what a people, and what an opportunity  for Ashley!

Ashley went to Sugarpine Christian Camp in the summer of 2004, and 2005.  After the summer of 2004, Ashley told me and her step father she would never return, as did two of her good friends, however, one brave girl offered to return.  She told us this during the end of her term the summer of 2004 while we were all having lunch.  Her step-father told her she would be back, she laughed.  Will she did go back!  In addition, the Lord blessed us a whole weekend with Ashley and our grandson Ernest David in 2005 at Sugarpine.  

Ashley brought many children to the Lord; she was so amazing.  In 2004 at Sugarpine the theme was a circus.  I bought her a clown outfit, and I think she only wore it three times.  But she said, "Mom, the kids see what is happening.  Life is a circus, but we want to teach them not to let their life with Christ be like that."  Yet, there were many other lessons for the kids to learn and they had fun doing it.  She was among those who brought kids to the Lord. She had kids write her back and say, I wish you could be my Mom, white, black, or purple.  At this, you can only know what a difference she was making in others lives.  May God Bless those little children and my little girl.

In 2005, Ashley called me up all excited.  What is this exciting news that can't wait till morning I said?  Ashley said, "Mom, the most awesome thing in my life just happened, it was so cool."  "What just happened, I replied?"  She said, "all of us, the staff at Sugarpine just went up to Yosemite and prayed to God on top of the mountain.  It was so awesome I can't even tell you."  I cried then, and I cry now.  Oh, little girl how much we love you!  You are one awesome child!  This summer Ashley brought an atheist to the Lord.  How comforting is that, and that is only a fraction of what she has done in her life.  And that, is what Ashley's life is about.  

Ashley had an assignment in one of her classes and apparently she was to write a letter to herself, but it was to mimick Jesus being the author.  Ashley imagined Jesus writing Her the following letter:

Dear Ashley, 

I love you so much, and I don't want you to ever feel like I don't.  I will never leave you....no matter how many times you think you are leaving me.  I want the best for you in this world, but just remember that this world is something you are not of.  Please don't think you are cutting your time short with me because I'm always here for you.  Making time is what you need to work on, make sacrafices, this world is full of temptation and distractions to keep you away from me.  Never forget that.

My word is the truth and I want you to get the courage to help the people who don't know, to know.  Don't be afraid to share me to others because I'll be there to help you know what to say.  People will listen to you as long as you stay in my word and know what your talking about.  Thank you, I love you, I love you, I love you.

                                                Love Jesus

Ashley is also a poet.  She was forever writing poetry.  As I went through some of her things I came across the following:

                    I'm starting to lose hope

                    the hope I had in you

                    losing the grip I had on reality

                    its slowly going back to the fantasy

                    How could I have been so selffish

                    to only care about my dreams

                    No wonder I'm losing this game

                    I forgot who made it and why you came

                    Sometimes I just don't understand

                    how can I believe without an end

                    an end so lovely and so pure

                    with love you brought to us,

                    a cure for pain, suffering and sin

                    a Life lived perfect, it was him

                    who gave his son his life to die

                    to save us from our selfish pride

                    our guilt our dirty disgusting sin

                    and he would do it all over again

As Ashley's mother, I keep both of the above documents in my bible.  I realize just how blessed I am to have these physical words on paper.  It is like therapy of no other kind.